This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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