this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Bring me that man meat
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
