Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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