Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
