Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
