Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
