More tranny stories later!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
