Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
