Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
