physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Success! We fucked roommates!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
