Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Fuck appropriateness.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
