he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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