Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
