Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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