I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
