She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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