somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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