i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
