My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
