You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Drake has all the answers
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
