I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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