The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
