you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
