8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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