so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize