So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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