Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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