scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
