I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
