Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
