yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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