you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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