I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
