Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
