I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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