it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
