He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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