Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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