So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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