smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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