Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
