we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
