Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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