His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I see more hoeing in ur future
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