yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
