I must be too annoying 4 u.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
