I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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