Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
