it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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