It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
