She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
