all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
